Screaming Thru Tears

ok, i'm upset(some of you may call it jealousy) but i have been for a whwile, and now i'm gonn reveal it all. i'm sorry afrehand if my typing is bad. right now i'm on a laptop. any way here i go. i know htis is a prob i've has for a while buti read miss naomis blog hte other day and it was talking bout her trip wtht the teens and how she loves spending time with her four teen girls. yep not inthere. i've shared more with her htan almost nay other perosn. i feel like no one at bethel is even trying ot keep in contact with me. This next one id on't mean to sound snotty saying id din't get hte money. thats not the point. but i sent a spnsor letter for guatemala. i was a missionary , and the church didn't sponsor me. most the peeps i am closest to are int eh teen grouop. after Tony died evrybody went ahead and left for the trip for wherever. not even a card. i got a few srys' on lbog. (which i am htankful for) mr. mike stopped by bt he was only able to be there for a few minutes. mrs. cathy and dicky both came to the visitationtoo. after 8 years in the church and tony doing what he did for em i thot a lot more poeple would b there(not necesarily atthevisitation). but if theis happende to a family inthe church there woudl have been meals cards phone calls can i helpinany ways. any ways i'm thru. i see andrea and thats about it. and we odn't really talk. i totally feel replaced and that i lost my spot. which is ok. cuz now thru anger i accept all this. i still love evryone. i'm just crazy upset. you may all say this is just a phase, and it very well may be, but htis is how i really feel. i mean i eally do believe i wouldn't be where i am today or the wasy i was today /out that church or anyone there, but i ef and everyone forgot about hte girl who played during childrens offering. i just don't even want to see any one from there right now. this isn't all just b/c tony's funeral there have been other thing sthat have bothered me.

good nite